Friday, October 26, 2007

55 Fiction Friday! October 26, 2007.

It's time again for 55 Fiction Friday! Details on what it is and how to play at the end of the post. Come on, you can do it!

My 55 for the week
A Different Kind of Love
He held her, their bodies tightly fitted together. His hand wrapped around her neck, fingers pressing. The other moving quickly to that opening at her body’s center. His fingers, at first tentative, began moving decisively, coaxing response. She moaned, each sound a declaration of love.

That’s how it was with B. B. King and Lucille.

MrWurdi's 55 for the week:
Evening's Pleasure
Time to put her up for the evening, I have that desire again. She doesn’t want to go, long hours of toil only for it to start again so soon. Awake it’s all about points, when she’s unconscious… pure sweetness. At last she is secured in her dream state.

Now I can make Rice pudding!

(I love this one! I've been working crazy hours and struggling to not give in to the lure of high point foods that aren't Weight Watcher friendly. MrWurdi has been encouraging me to get enough sleep. I thought he was worried about me. Turns out all he wanted was dessert and didn't want to tempt me! Hee-hee!)

CaveBtch aka the worm eater has not only FINALLY commented on the How To post, she's also decided to play along with 55 Fiction
Struggling for breath, tears filling my eyes, I cry out in pain.
The searing, white hot pain is so intense that cramps grip my body. Writhing in agony I promise myself that I will never allow this again. A sob escapes my lips and I taste the salt of my own tears.

Damn habanero chili!

CaveBtch, I have, also, suffered the wicked kiss of hot pepper. I always say, "Never again," but the lure of the heat is too much.

55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here..
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

More Gifts From The Internet

I'm sure my local friends are going to make comments to the How To post soon. I'm sure of it. Really. I have local friends. Not just internet friends. I do. Really. And they're not imaginary or invisible.

Where is my tinfoil hat??

In the meantime, a favorite of bloggers around the world...a few of the Google searches that lead to The Wordy Bitch.

(gmilf or ggmilf) submission - Erm. I think we did the first part of this already but the submission part is new. Either some twisted mind out there wants to lick some granny boots or someone wants to spank the elderly. Now that's kinky.

poem about boobs -
A literary boob afficianado!
How it makes me smile
Come and read my blog a bit
I'm sure it will make you smile

Boobs are mentioned frequently
But most often in September
Please put it on your calendar
In case you don't remember.

paddle faster (i hear banjo music) t-shirt - Deliverance. Squealing. Fear. I'm not even a guy and that's scary. I did see this t-shirt and blogged about it in a post by this name.

get it bitch in Spanish - Well, isn't that rude?

zyban heartache - The love of my life, MrWurdi, despises smoking. DESPISES it, I tell you. Because it worked once before, I tried Zyban to help me quit again. It didn't work this time. Zyban heartache, indeed.

may you have an interesting life - I do! I also posted about this a few months ago. My Interesting Life post explains the phrase and also includes the start of my Zyban heartache.

irritate people - I would love to talk to this person. Do they want to know how? I could completely do a "how to irritate people" post by using examples from those who have irritated me. I think, though, that Google might not like me. I mean, gee, someone types "irritate people" and Wordy Bitch comes up? I admit, this made me curious so I went and Googled the phrase. The Wordy Bitch shows up on PAGE TEN. This person is doing some in-depth research. I'm impressed. And frightened.

a poem of haiku -
Technically so:
A haiku is a poem
Three lines? Rhyming's hard.

For you, I found time
With my words and syllables
This haiku does rhyme.

(Haikus are three lines long with lines formed as follows: 5 syllables/7 syllables/5 syllables)

Saturday, October 20, 2007

HOW TO: Post a Comment

Several local folks have mentioned that they'd like to leave a comment but aren't sure how. I'm going to tell you! Now, there's no excuse.

Click on the comment link at the bottom of the post.
You'll see a page that looks like this:

Type in your comment. Then (BONUS TIP!), highlight all of your comment and press CTRL & C at the same time. This will copy your comment to your computer's clipboard. If something goes wrong with your post attempt, you won't have to re-type your comment!


Go to the Choose an Identity portion of the comment area.

Option 1: If you have a Google or Blogger account, you can leave it on the default setting:

Then, type in your user name and password and it will automatically link to your blog when you post your comment.

Option 2: If you blog somewhere else or have a MySpace account or a webpage, you can select "Other" for your identity.

Then, type in the name you wish to use and the web address for your site.
You can also use this option if you don't have a webpage but wish to post under your name (instead of anonymously). Just type your name and don't put anything under the web address field.

Option 3: You can enter your comment anonymously. Just enter your comment and click that button.

Click the orange button that says, "Publish Your Comment."

That's it. It's that easy.

Now, test my instructions! Leave a comment. Please? You can do-o-o-o-o it!

I've Been Tagged

I've been tagged. Being tagged is when someone does a little question/answer type thing and then has other bloggers do it, too. The topic is "5 things that I do, did or like that I’m proud of, but that others may think are totally lame. Plus, I get to tag 5 people to do the same."

Phishez at Sanity Optional tagged me and I like her so here are my responses.

  • I've modified a bunch of recipes so they're Core. Core is a Weight Watchers plan where you eat healthy, non-processed foods.
  • I have become a huge fan of Stargate SG-1 and watch old episodes a lot.
  • My taste in music is really diverse. I like something from just about every genre.
  • I love monkeys and collect things with monkeys on them.
  • I really do believe the best of everyone until the prove me wrong. Repeatedly.

Lame? Probably. This is very much like a chain letter kind of thing and I normally find them rather lame, too, but I did kind of like this one. So, now I have to tag five people to do this. I choose MrsStevens, Katia, SGT, Marcia and Danielle, the Hor Blogger.

Friday, October 19, 2007

55 Fiction Friday! October 19, 2007

It's time again for 55 Fiction Friday! Details on what it is and how to play at the end of the post. Come on, you can do it!

My 55 for the week
Advice comes from many sources: the wise man on the mountain, the academic advisor, career planners, best friends, parents, psychics, self-help books, and television talk show hosts.

Lately, my schedule lends itself only to my old, reliable standby. I query my trusted advisor and the answer is given, “Cannot predict now.”

Damn you, Magic 8-Ball!

MrWurdi's 55 for the week:
The Bank
The flurry of noise - now unnervingly silent. No papers ruffling, no chatter, no doors swinging. One in each corner, one on the counter, masks, guns, screaming orders break the silence. I’m trying to disappear under this bank slip table… Someone runs… “BAM BAM!”

“Cut! Look scared, people; look serious, robbers… damn… From the top!”

55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here..
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Why I Write Poems...

I've always had a knack for rhyming poetry. I enjoy it and, I'm told, I'm pretty good at putting something cute together. I get requests for invitations and homemade cards and the like. I fully credit my early reading experiences for this ability.

When I was a kid, my dad was in the military and we lived in places where television stations were not only limited but frequently in a different language. My mother subscribed to a service that sent books to our house. Dr. Seuss was a huge favorite. She'd read the book to us once or twice and then I'd read the story over and over to my brother. Because of Mom and Dr. Seuss, I learned to read when I was four. I've also carried the nickname "Cindy Lou Who" because of my love of the Grinch and fondness for Whoville types. In addition to the rhyming, I think my outlook on life has also been greatly influenced by the work of the good Mr. Geisel, the creator of Dr. Seuss.

In "Two Words. No Explanation." one of my favorite bloggers, Driving With The Brakes On, gave the answer, "Dr. Seuss," for the favorite book line. It reminded me that I'd written a poem about my Seussiousness a while back. I went hunting, found it, and am posting it now for your amusement and/or ridicule.

Dr. Seuss
I have loved Dr. Seuss from the moment I met him.
His books were the greatest when my mother read 'em.
She'd go to the mailbox and there she would find
The best books ever written -- the Dr. Seuss kind!

I learned how to read them when I was just four
I'd read them three times, then I'd read them some more.
His rhymes they were lively and filled with excitement.
I'd read to my brother; his eyes filled with delightment!

Seuss made up new words when the regular failed.
His fantastic new creatures were richly detailed.
Far away places with strange sounding names,
Star-bellied sneetches playing odd, sneetchy games.

He introduced fear with a Christmas-time terror.
The Grinch was a mean one, not a glad tidings bearer.
He struck fear in the hearts of the happy Who people.
From the houses on main street to the church's tall steeple.

But a moral could always be found in his tales.
Even when the suspense had you biting your nails.
He taught of acceptance and laughter and knowing.
Of hearts that were tiny but soon began growing.

He told us that all is not all that it seems
That even the mean ones have hopes and dreams.
The lessons I learned from the good Dr. Seuss
Have helped me to put my own thoughts to good use.

I look for the best in all the folks that I meet
I'm an eternal optimist with wings on my feet.
I believe that all people: mean, nice, young or old
Might just end up having a heart made of gold.

The unfortunate fate that I suffer's quite clear, though
I put strange words together in an odd kind of lingo
I find that rhyming has become a therapy of sorts
And throw poems together by the seat of my shorts!

Random Thought #8

Setting a public goal is a good way to guarantee much difficulty in achieving the goal.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Two Words. No explanation.

A new reader of The Wordy Bitch, Effortlessly Average, did this recently at his site and although he deemed it insipid, I kind of liked it. Please feel free to add your series of two words in the comments.

Two words. No explanations.
1. Yourself: Definitely different,
2. Your significant other: Evolved, sexy
3. Your hair: long, blonde
4. Your mother: devout, loving
5. Your father: inspiration, warning
6. Your favorite item: black jacket
7. Your dream last night: weird, random
8. Your favorite drink: Diet Dew
9. Your dream car: Black Corvette
10. The room you are in: Noisy office
11. Your ex: Redneck; Liar
12. Your fear: limited time
13. What you want to be in 10 years: happily retired
14. Who you hung out with last night: Mister Wurdi
15. What you're not: mean, dishonest
16. Muffins: tight pants
17. One of your wish list items: winning lottery
18. Time: not enough
19. The last thing you did: typed answer
20. What you are wearing: killer shoes
21. Your favorite weather: sunny, warm
22. Your favorite book: Erica Jong
23. The last thing you ate: raw carrots
24. Your life: full, happy
25. Your mood: content, hopeful
26. Your best friend: Mister Wurdi
27. What you're thinking about right now: going home
28. Your car: black Corvette
29. What you are doing at the moment: blogging, thinking
30. Your summer: hot, humid
31. Your relationship status: best ever
32. What is on your TV: forensics show
33. What is the weather like: sunny, cool
34. When was the last time you laughed: one hour
35. Your mood: already stated

Friday, October 12, 2007

55 Fiction Friday! October 12, 2007

It's time again for 55 Fiction Friday! Details on what it is and how to play at the end of the post.

We'd discussed having a topic for each week and, while it seemed like a good idea at the time, I really like the way everyone has a different story each week or how the ideas flow from one person to the next. Having a topic of the week might interfere with Guinness74 and his ongoing 55 Fiction about Jonas. If anyone would like a topic for next week, ask in the comments and I'll give a personal and specific one.

MrWurdi's 55 for the week:
In the Dark of the Night
Briskly walking to where she is tied, he tosses the blanket exposing her dark skin. Touching her, calming her, watching her breathing, and as she exhales he tightens the leather strap. He plans to ride her long and hard into the night. Straddling her, whip in hand, it begins.

The historic ride of Paul Revere.

CaveBtch has decided to join us!
She scrubbed away at herself in disgust. The longing was becoming unbearable and self abuse was an excercise in loneliness. All those nights she'd lain awake wondering what it would be like and all she had to show for it was bags under her eyes. Damn, you can wash away many things, desire isn't one.

Here’s my 55 for the week
She took off her top and felt the sun’s warm rays caress the bare skin of her body. Delicious shivers raced through her as an unexpectedly cool breeze caught her unaware. She couldn’t help casting surreptitious glances to see if anyone was watching her, exposed like this, but she felt safe in her t-top Corvette.

55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here..
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

Excuses, excuses

Have you heard of Eric Hoffer? During the time his peers were writing about the benefits of having good self-esteem, Hoffer wrote about the consequences of not having good self-esteem. He wrote about the danger of fanaticism and self-righteousness. He wrote about how important it is to have meaning in one’s own life to avoid obsessing about the other people and things outside of one’s control. He was a pretty smart guy.

I’d like to share with you what Mr. Hoffer said about excuses:
There are many who find a good alibi far more attractive than an achievement. For an achievement does not settle anything permanently. We still have to prove our worth anew each day: we have to prove that we are as good today as we were yesterday. But when we have a valid alibi for not achieving anything we are fixed, so to speak, for life. Moreover, when we have an alibi for not writing a book, painting a picture, and so on, we have an alibi for not writing the greatest book and not painting the greatest picture. Small wonder that the effort expended and the punishment endured in obtaining a good alibi often exceed the effort and grief requisite for the attainment of a most marked achievement.

I claim to write, yet days go by in which I write nothing. Why is this? Fear of failure? Perhaps. When I go back and read things I’ve written, I can always find room for improvement. When I put things out here for the world to read, I want for them to entertain or inform or inspire.

I always have a good excuse for not posting. I’m too busy at work or I’m sick (this week’s excuse).

Sometimes, I worry that what I have to say isn’t good enough. Oh, I usually get the grammar and spelling close enough but I know I switch tenses like I’m caught in a time machine gone mad. That’s not what I’m blathering on about…what if you come here and read what I’ve posted and it doesn’t do anything for you? What if ~gasp~ it bores you? What if you feel you wasted your time coming here? Horrors.

Sure, I do this blog thing for me and I’d probably do it even if no one ever read it or commented. It’s just that sometimes it’s a whole lot easier to make the excuses. If it weren’t for 55 Fiction Fridays, there would have been weeks without a new post. Stale blog = sadness blog. Thanks to those of you who’ve been playing along with 55 Fiction Friday, it doesn’t matter how busy or how sick or how filled with excuses I may find myself, I find time to make that one post a week. No excuses there.

I hesitate to do this. I can have a goal but as long as I don’t say it (post it) out loud, it doesn’t count (except in that whole internal debate/berate thing). So. Ehem. Um. Here it is.

I will post at least three times a week from this point forward. It might just be a quote or a haiku or who knows what but I will.

Feel free to publicly scold me if I fail to meet my goal.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Haiked Up Recipe - Omelet

When my friend, CaveBtch, challenged me to post a recipe written in haiku form, I responded with Haiked Up Recipe - Pear Clafoutis. I returned the challenge to her and she responded with the following.

Three eggs, cracked, in bowl
Whip firmly until frothy
Put aside for now

Cut small chunk butter
Heat in pan until golden
Pour the eggs in pan

Take a spatula
Heatproof silicone is best
This is important

With your spatula
Pull cooked eggs into middle
Raw egg runs to sides

Cook until just set
Swirl pan firmly, eggs spin free
Ready to commit?

You are committed
Tossing omelet into air
Watch the pretty flight

Catching eggs is hard
But not for the committed
Opposite side cooks

Cheese is added now
Melting and lovely the cheese
Slide omelet on plate

Eat with great gusto
The beautiful prize you cooked
God, no ketchup please

Friday, October 05, 2007

55 Fiction Friday! October 5, 2007

It's time again for 55 Fiction Friday! Details on what it is and how to play at the end of the post.

I humbly apologize for my lack of posting this week. Unfortunately, until I find a way to blog and/or write for a living, I must continue to slave away for The Man. We’ll try the 55 Topic of the Week next time.

Here’s my 55 for the week
I asked Granddaddy if he was going to vote for our neighbor, Mr. Williams, in the city election. He, adamantly, stated he would not. Stunned, because I knew my grandfather thought highly of Mr. Williams, I asked why.

“Why would I want to vote for him? He’s a good man now. Politics will ruin that.”

MrWurdi's 55 for the week:
The principles of lust are easy to understand.

The rhythm of the music
The dancing light of candles
The crack of the whip
The line drawn in the flesh
The gasp for air
The delicious orgasm
The body going limp

“Beautiful! Are you a Master?”
“No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express.”

55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here..
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.