Friday, February 29, 2008

55 Fiction Friday! February 29, 2008

All the details on what 55 Fiction is and how to play are at the end of the post. Come on, you can do it!

*****

There was a blogger with block
Stress built with each tick of the clock
No matter her drive
She could not fifty-five
She thought to herself, “What a crock!”

This blogger fashioned a rhyme
Hoping it’d work for this time
Feeling immense shame
Hoping it isn’t lame
And that no one calls it a crime.


--There is a new post this week at I Paid For That--

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here.. You can also click on the 55 Fiction label below to see what Wordy Bitch and Wordy Bitch readers have done in the past.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Random Thought #10 - MRIs

I once heard the experience of having an MRI (magnetic resonance imaging) described as follows:


Take a metal ironing board minus its cover and put it down on the ground. Stretch out on it with a metal wastebasket on your head. Have someone beat on the wastebasket with a rubber mallet for at least 20 minutes while you stay completely still.


This is an excellent description.


A friend's husband is having this procedure done today. Please feel free to support him by having your own faux-MRI.

Friday, February 22, 2008

55 Fiction Friday! February 22, 2008

All the details on what 55 Fiction is and how to play are at the end of the post. Come on, you can do it!

*****
Her skin was bright and clear; her hair shiny and soft. The whole grains, lean meats, and boatloads of fruits and vegetables were healthy and aided in her weight loss.

She considered, happily, that she was going to save a fortune in future medical bills.

Unfortunately, she was spending that savings now on air fresheners.
*****

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here.. You can also click on the 55 Fiction label below to see what Wordy Bitch and Wordy Bitch readers have done in the past.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It Ain't Easy Bein' Green

Over the course of the past few years, I’ve been making some greenish changes in my life (and not just the new blog color!). Along with the seemingly never-ending quest to eat less (making a smaller, leaner Ima), I’ve been trying to consume less in other ways. I want a smaller, leaner life. More balance, less excess. I’m making the move to a greener existence.

Food:
I’m buying less packaged foods. By focusing on the outer edges of the grocery store, I’m purchasing foods that have less packaging. I still hit the aisles because I do need some convenience items but I try to stay away from overly packaged goods. I’m buying in bulk when I can and when it makes sense. I’m fine-tuning my grocery shopping in an attempt to not throw away food because it’s spoiled. I could go on and on about my love of the FoodSaver for protecting food from spoilage and freezer burn but Duchess Jane has already covered that topic completely AND with pictures. I make stock from chicken, ham, and beef bones (shrimp is next!) along with peelings from my veggies. There are articles on easy stock making here and here. I’m buying some organic foods.

General shopping:
I’m purchasing less stuff. I’ve never been much of a shopper, so that helps. I use lists to keep me away from those impulse purchases. I try to only buy those things I need and/or love. My new peep-toe black pumps fall into both of those categories!

Gasoline Consumption:
I play a little game with myself since, admittedly, I drive one of those shame-inducing larger vehicles. I have a gauge that tells me what my current gas mileage is. Sure, it does the average, too, but by keeping my eye on the current number, I can see that gunning it makes it go down (duh) while a slow, steady pressure on the gas pedal has less of a bad effect on my mileage. It’s an ongoing contest with myself to see how high I can keep it. I try to figure out the shortest route to where I’m going and I combine trips as much as possible.

Electrical/Water Consumption:
I suck at this. I’m working on it. I leave the TV on when I’m going to sleep; although I do put it on sleep timer. I have a hard time remembering to turn the water off while I’m brushing my teeth but am working on that one, too. I’m slowly but surely replacing my light bulbs with these super-efficient, long lasting ones. They last for YEARS.

Existing Stuff:
I’m trying to give away much of the stuff I have in my home that I don’t need or love. If I feel “eh” about it, it’s going to end up at Hannah Home or Goodwill sometime soon. I’m not going all FlyLady about it (she scares me) but I’m trying to get rid of at least five things each weekday. MrWurdi’s son was talking last year about people who let their stuff own them. He’d been preparing to hike the Appalachian Trail and was, therefore, figuring his bare necessities so I suppose that had him pondering what he (we) really need. We end up accumulating so much stuff that we soon have to live in a bigger place or rent storage to keep up with all that stuff. We spend large quantities of our time maintaining and repairing our stuff. With all the time and money and effort we spend on our stuff, it ends up being our stuff owning us rather than us owning it. I will not be owned by my stuff.

Recycling:
We’re just getting started on this. Our local pick-up doesn’t have a large range of items they pick up for recycling but I suppose every little bit helps.

How Green Are You?
NPR has a neat, little quiz to help show you how green you are. The Consumer Consequences game asks questions about your lifestyle. While you play the game, it keeps up with how many planet "Earths" of natural resources it would take to sustain the 6.6 billion people on this one Earth - if everyone lived the way you do.


****************************************
I know I’m not going to live completely green. I drive an Avalanche and a ’77 Corvette (with a high performance engine). That’s not at all green. So, I make the changes I can and am willing to make. I also try to balance the “me stuff” by doing for others. Whether it’s raising funds for breast cancer research with Team GDT or donating goods or volunteering for a local clinic or goofing off, improving my vocabulary, and donating food to hungry people or just trying to help my family when I can, I try to make it all even out. Balance, not fanaticism about anything.

I’m always looking for ways I can be more green. Any ideas?

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

From Ima's Kitchen - The Best Carrot Cake EVER



A while back, Chef H aka Wormy, asked me to make a carrot cake for the birthday sillybration of one of our friends. I did what I usually do when asked to make something I haven't already made. I looked at about 50 recipes and came up with something that is a combination of most of them. I admit, I was nervous. The folks at this party know food. Hell, Chef H cooks for us on a regular basis and oh.my.god. can Wormy cook. I was told that this was The Best Carrot Cake EVER. It didn’t have a name prior to the party. That seems like a good one.

The Best Carrot Cake EVER
Ingredients
CAKE

2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
1 3/4 cups sugar
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup applesauce
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
3 cups grated carrots
1 (8 ounce) can crushed pineapple, drained

FROSTING
1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese , softened
1/4 cup butter, softened
2 cups confectioner’s sugar

TOPPING
1 cup chopped pecans

Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F and spray a 9x13 inch pan with canola oil.

Mix the flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon; then, make a well in the center and add sugar, oil, applesauce, eggs and vanilla. Mix these ingredients together with a wooden spoon until they’re smooth.

Don’t lick the spoon. That would be horrible. That would be awful. You’d hate it. It’s not good for you. If you choose to disregard my advice, get a fresh spoon for further stirring because… well, ewww…

Stir in the carrots and pineapple.

NOTE: You can add the chopped pecans here, too, but I prefer to put them on the top of the cake so the folks who don’t like nuts can easily avoid them. The freaks. Walnuts are also okay but could be bitter so why risk it? Also, if your nuts are bitter it might… um, nevermind. This is not the right place for a sexual innuendo, is it?

Pour the batter into the prepared 9x13 inch pan and bake for about 45 minutes.

Do not run your finger around the almost empty bowl and through the batter for another taste. Use a spatula. You get more batter that way.

Allow the cake to cool.

While the cake is cooling, cream the butter and cream cheese until smooth then add the confectioner’s sugar and beat until creamy. (Another bad place for a sexual innuendo.) Frost the cake, then sprinkle the pecans on top.

Again, if you’re going to conduct quality control to guarantee a good dessert for those lucky enough to get some of your cake, I recommend using a spatula.

I make a decorative edging with the nuts so there are a few pieces of cake that are completely nut free. You know, for those freaky people don’t want nuts because they’re already nuts because they don’t like nuts. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I mean, who am I to judge? Nuts.

Monday, February 18, 2008

New Post!

There's a new post at I Paid For That.

Wormy (aka ChefH)has been riding me about some recipes so I'll try to get them posted here tonight.

I'm also feeling a bit green and that has nothing to do with my dinner.

Friday, February 15, 2008

55 Fiction Friday! February 15, 2008

All the details on what 55 Fiction is and how to play are at the end of the post. Come on, you can do it!

You Say 'Bitch' Like It's A Bad Thing
Meredith sang:

Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint. Shameless.

Hell. Dream. Nothing in between.
All these characteristics have been admired.

“…take me as I am
this may mean you'll
have to be a stronger man.”

Bitch. Tease. A goddess, on my knees.
Trying to be there for hard times.

Sometimes just being yourself is hard.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here.. You can also click on the 55 Fiction label below to see what Wordy Bitch and Wordy Bitch readers have done in the past.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, February 08, 2008

55 Fiction Friday! February 8, 2008

All the details on what 55 Fiction is and how to play are at the end of the post. Come on, you can do it!

Kidnap!
Strange creatures emerged from the glowing light. One had hooves for feet. Another creature resembled a wolf yet walked erect. While Jill watched in horror, they reached out, grabbing her lover. Seemingly drugged, he went with them. He joined them in their strange, colorful land only returning home for short visits.

Damn World of Warcraft.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here.. You can also click on the 55 Fiction label below to see what Wordy Bitch and Wordy Bitch readers have done in the past.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday, February 01, 2008

55 Fiction Friday! February 1, 2008

All the details on what 55 Fiction is and how to play are at the end of the post. Come on, you can do it!

Untitled
The young woman strode into the library. Her golden hair shimmered brightly as she walked up to the counter and stated her need.

“I’d like a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.”

Frowning at her, the librarian responded, “This is a library.”

Chastened, the blonde whispered, “I’d like a cheeseburger, fries and a chocolate shake.”


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
55 fiction is a very, very short story of exactly 55 words. It needs to have a character, conflict and resolution.

The Wikipedia article on 55 Fiction is here and some great examples are here.. You can also click on the 55 Fiction label below to see what Wordy Bitch and Wordy Bitch readers have done in the past.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Come play! Add your story to the comments or put it on your blog and I'll link to it. It's fun. You'll like it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~